remmnents of the cosmic balance

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 06:57:52 GMT

Ok so i'm starting to get the strong feeling that the World of Darkness is using our group of Amenti as some form of cosmic joke. For it turns out that the Vampire we so expertly dispatched last week was actually a potentiall ally in the hunt for Marcus, and probally would have been a lot of help, and was indeed looking for Marcus. And now we've managed to incur the wrath of the Prince of the City, who for those that don't know is sort of like the head Vampire. Though this does make for a more interesting plot it does convince that the universe (by that i mean the World of Darkness) is using us for some sort of obscure joke, as some vauge message to the rest of its inhabitants. Though what that message is i haven't guessed yet, and don't want to think about it too much.

So what else, well nothing really, got through the first proper week of term, have reading and some study to do, but my timetable is great this year, nicely spaced and i get two days off which is rather pleasent, and will let me get into a nice routine with study and hopefully manage to do well this year.

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 22:31:49 GMT

Right first meeting of NODDsoc today, didn't get to run my game as due to misinterpreting a phone call i ended up waiting about at chesterfield station for someone, instead of sheffield where i was supposed to meet them. SO it ment i just ended up joing Iain's game, which was distinctly so-so, though we did end up opening a tavern and selling all manner of exotic drinks. Thats it really. Pretty dull one-off. Alright as part of our campaign, but not a good one off. But good to see friends and chat again. Made me feel the best i felt all day.

Final year stuff started in ernest today, will start really getting into it now and some of the stuff seems pretty interesting. At least this year we seem to be given some freedom of choice. Which is nice, makes me feel smart for some reason, being a given a degree of choice over what we do.

will write more later, have the thursday night game to look forward to, tomorrow, hurzah should be a fun way to spend the evening. Assuming i'm in a better mood tomorrow then i was today.

One of game is ago, it be a game of pirates argh!

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 16:15:08 GMT

Right finally deicded on what game to go with, for the one off next week I'm going to go with the Swaschbuckling game, on the grounds that I have Pirates of the Spanish Main and i don't need to do a lot of extra work in making up a setting or anytihng like that. So here it is.

The basic premise is each one of the player characters is a convicted criminal spending their last night in the cells of Port Royal's Ramsgate fort. all are awaiting death for on the morn they swing from the gallows. Some are innocent and some are not but that is not the question here. It all seems hopeless. And the cannon fire. the Port is Under Attack. This gives the players an oppotunity to escape. Of course they escape into the middle of a battle, with a force of raiding pirates. Though these just arn't any Pirates they seem to be quicker and faster then normal men, as pale as a corpse and impervious to bullets. These are something else and there killing everything in their path. The plan is to let the players run about a bit and eventually have them cornered by the Pirates ,with no hope of escape. Until they're bailed out by a man called Von Geheart who drives these creatures off brandishing a crossbow and crucifix (yup there vampires or something close to it). He saves the players, but in return he asks of there help.

This of course is the main body of the adventure, they've got to track something down for von Geheart. I'm not to sure what yet i'm thinking up the details, then of course have some sort of dramatic conclusion. Of course said thing won't be easy to get hold of either.

I'm kind of worried i might be railroading a bit, which is the problem as i hate doing that. however for a one-off i don't think going in without a half decent plot is the best idea on the planet. I could be wrong there however. After all a really freewheiling campaign is a lot of fun, but i don't think that works for one offs as over this summer i've learnt that one off game somestimes need more careful planing.

What else to talk about, well brought Neverwhere yesterday since i thought it was high time to read something by Neil Gaiman. I'm suprised its actually as good as the hype. I just love the idea of the novel, the idea of a secret society of things beneath London, appeals to me. I just like the guy's style as well, accsesible and fun but still deep and isn't patronising. will have to give a more rounded opinion when i've compleated the book. But i'm enjoying it.

Well back to uni tomorrow ,for re-registration and what not. After thats all finished I should be meeting with Tom and Luke to go and see Run Fatboy Run, should be a laugh. Though i'm really looking forward to Stardust and Day Watch being released, both look good films. And in the case of those i'll go on my own most like, unless anyone wants to tag along. Me personally i don't care about going to the cinema on my own, i often enjoy it. Thats probally a sign of something, since common social convention states you must go in groups to the cinema otherwise your a freak, but i don't care. I like the cinema on my own.

One of game ideas, too many of them all at once

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 20:14:46 GMT

so another day goes by, looking forward to uni starting back up again actually as its quite good to get back into to studying again as when i'm at uni I tend to obcess over things less so am in theory more happy, except for those times when i go into obcessing insanly over things. also the other good thing about uni starting again, is that NODDsoc starts again, which means a mid-week break from reality, which always makes the week more fun. Assuming i have time to take breaks from reality this year. Hopefully so but you never know. Speaking of NODDsoc i'll probally run a one off game in the first week back, so i just need to think what to do. I'll need to something fun and punchy, so as not to require several sessions to generate mood. My current thoughts are.

Swaschbuckling game- if i do this i'll use the Savage Worlds rules and probally either the Fifty Fatrhoms setting or the Pirates of the Spanish Main setting, havn't quite deicded which yet as both have their merits and down sides. I think if i did it right a swaschbuckling adventure would make a tremendous one off, I'd just need to make sure we didn't get bogged down in Trading or anything like that. Also the Worlds are already their so minimum work for me.

Modern Day Fantasy/supernatural game- After watching copious amounts of Buffy and Reading Night Watch and Day Watch of late, i'm very tempted to do something in the mould of these two things. Not a crossover just taking elements of the whole modern day fantasy/supernatural idea and rolling with that. have an idea for a vauge setting i could put together and work on something for that. Of course cons of this are, theres a lot of stuff like that out there already with World of Darkness and the like. Also for a one off I'd probally use Savage Worlds as a system here, as that is easy to use then WoD, both in planning and when you have to improvise.

Wuxia game- Ok this is simply because i saw the Terracotta army exhibt last thursday and feel like doing a game in ancient China. I have Qin the Warring States which i did like, but there is one problem, in that i can't remeber the system at all ,and there was a couple of hard to explain parts, as far as i recally anyhow. Don't want to use Savage Worlds for this, dosn't feel right for some reason. Prehaps i could use HeroQuest, Mythic China anyone? I like the idea of more Heroquest but i'd have to mkae up keywords and so forth, which i could probaly do. This coulb however be very fun as Heroquest isn't as confusing as a lot of specific Wuxia RPG systems (Like weapons of the Gods, ye gods that was confusing, the most bizzare dice rolling system ever).

Thats the three ideas i have floating about. Unsure of which to go with as i'd kind of like to run them all. I just need to think carefully which would be best for a one off. Though now having done a couple of one offs i know the bascis of how to make it go smooth, which is good. I like running one offs, i don't think i'm the right type of perosn to run a long term campaign but with short term campaigns and one offs i seem to do ok with.

Why do i have to have three good ideas all at once?!?!

ramblings

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 19:41:28 GMT

There is something about the human capacity to delude oneself continually that really does amaze me. Seriously everybody seems to be able to lie to them self continually convince themselves that everything is ok or is some specific way, remaining oblivious to the fact that things are not that way, even when its screaming them in the face that things are not that way and everyone could be telling them that its not that way, they continue to sustain the idea of their illusion. Though this raises an interesting point, if people sustain the lie enough, beleive it enough convince themselves that the illusion is actually truth does it then become truth, if enough people believe the fiction and take it that is in fact a truth of thing, becoming more accepted, more believed then the actual truth of the matter, does then the fictional creation become a reality and what was a truth become then a lie, as no-one believes it and thus it ceases to exist, after all wasn't it once said that Truth is only an accepted lie? Ok that is slightly off topic.

Seriously though the amount of people who seem to continually blind themselves to what is really happening, amazes me. the case in point is people who claim to understand how the world works, to comprehend what is going on, too be all "wordly" and yet when you listen to them they are nothing like that, being in fact hopelessly naive and ignorant of the way of things. Yet of course they manage to convince themselves they arn't anything of the sort. And of course as they sustain that idea you really can't say anything, you can't say anything at all no matter how much you want to screem at them and tell them they don't know the whole of it.

Of course i'm not claiming to be all kowing or anything like that, please don' think that, i know i am probally hopelessly naive about things, but then i admit that, I don't have soo much expeirance of life really. But at least i realise that.

Ok so i'm saying this like i don't delude myself continually, that i accept the truth of matters. Of course i don't, i delude myself as much as anyone else. Probally more so. Heck this dosn't make any sense does it? i don't make sense, nothing makes sense. I don't make sense not anymore. I used to, i think but now i don't remember.

Life just feels confusing at the moment, more choices to make soon, more decisions to make, i keep telling myself i'll make better choices this time around, that i'll do everything right. I'm just scared i'll screw up again, which i think would be the final straw. This is me being all scared, worried about messing everything up. I just don't want to make stupid mistakes again... i keep telling myself i won't, but that won't stop me making mistakes again will it? Its just a sustained dellusion that i'll do stuff right this time...

This must make me sound crazy i know, but i'm passed the point of caring

London

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 11:21:38 GMT

Ok so first off the London trip was amazing, the Terracotta warriors were worth seeing 100%, there was just something wonderful about the whole thing, even the smell, there was just something captivating about the whole thing that really drew me into the whole thing. I like ancient China a lot but there is something ironic there how someone for who order is an alien concept (i.e. me) is drawn to a very ordered culture. In any case the whole trip was great fun and had a good laugh with my companions. also picked up the Explorers edition of Savage Worlds while down there. The tube was an interesting expeirance we went on it at Rush hour, which was cramped to say the least.

Seriously i would recomend to anyone to go and see this exhbit it is truely awesome....

however on a slightly stupid note i decided to take up the challenge to go without caffine for a week, which may have been a slightly stupid thing to agree to since it has come to my attention that I have a slight addiction to caffine. Still should make things interesting to say the least. See how long it is before i crack...

2 Weeks till i start back for my final year now, starting to feel somewhat apprehensive as i have a feeling i may well have to become a hermit. Also my finals are in Febuarary for some reason, so thats going to mean this first semester will probally be a little trying to say the least.

ok thats all, just to say the exhibit is brilliant and thats it really

The Heroes save the day and trash the town

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 06:51:48 GMT

Ok so Mythic Russia had an interesting finalle, last night, the Boyar was exposed as the evil scum he was, transpired he was seeking a Daemon that was bound in Lake Lagoda, so he gain power and take the title of Prince of Moscow for himself. Of course the players didn't convince to the townsfolk in the normal way, they drugged them so they'd beleive anything. The Boyar lost it and was close to finding the unbinding rituals for the Daemon so decided he'd had enough of th town and ordered his men to slaughter them all. the Players sparked off a riot and much chaos occured. Of course are "heros" killed the Boyar and Left the town a compleate mess really, no lord, people running riot, looting and fires everywhere. Though this campaign was a lot of fun, nice running for a compleatly diffrent group of people, all of them played interesting, fun characters which made my joba lot more interesting.

Yes so in conclusion a fun game.

Should be playing more of the Savage Worlds sci-fi game today, which should be a great laugh, it was last time, though i think i'll give the players a might more plot this time, still i can write all that this morning one of the reasons i love Savage Worlds is, it is easy to write stuff for.

Not much else to talk of really, been working on a new story, inspired due to reading Night Watch of late, and working on various Erroth stuff. Heh that world seems to be taking forever but i'm not too bothered about finishing it quickly the creative process is too much fun for that. Its not like I have a Deadline or am working for anyone, so i might as well just enjoy myself...

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 08:52:25 GMT

Ok meme time here, seems like a fun distraction for a sunday morning though, so here goes. (got this of </a></font></b></a>

DIRECTIONS: Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better. Update your LJ with the answers to the questions. Include this explanation. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

1. Who is left out of our old group that you get on with?
to be honest i've not really got any problems with any of the old gropup anymore, i've resolved some of the issues and don't see us all that much so i think out of the old group i get on with pretty much everyone.

2. Catgirls? Likey?
Unfortunatly no, that is pure sci-fi at least for the moment. Too complicated to create.

3. Roleplaying - What's your REAL opinion?
Depends i like Roleplaying online, but if i'm honest my heart lies with the pen and paper stuff as its more social and you actually get to see friends face to face and so on, it seems more personal that way.

4. Do you ever tire of social activity and wish they'd all go away?
Sometimes yes, but these days i tend to feel more comfortable in social situations, but yes sometimes i do want everyone to disapeer or to go and live in a cave atop a high mountain (assuming that cave has internet connection and electricity for TV e.t.c.)

5. What is your honest, truthful and no frills or beating about the bush opinion of me and my own breed of girlweirdocraziness?

my honest opinion of your "girlweirdocraziness" is that i like it. sure you can occasionally be annoying but then everyone can. I like you the way you are, as at least your honest and not being fake and pretencious, which is worth a lot in a person. Plus your not boring.

Ok Aeonreaver there are some answers, if you want them.

what i'd do for a night's sleep

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 10:23:29 GMT

Ah so the zombie game finished yesterday, we played for 4 hours but it was worth it, very fun for all involved. I wouldn't like to do it too much but, as a one off stuff like that is great. Just a pity i had to miss the Mummy game, I'm betting something amazing happened just because i wasn't there, some crucial plot twist or amazing reverlation. hmm we shall just have to wait and see. also seems we may be doing some one offs next week, a sci-fi setting this time, with proper characters. Which has ment me building a sci-fi setting now, which is good as it serves as a backdrop for the story i'm writing at the moment.

Hopefullyy more roleplay tonight, contuing with our Sci-Fi type thing, assuming Oliver can not offend everyone involved in the game and Mozz has enough will to run it. I feel kind of bad about not going over to theres soo much, at the moment but my time seems to be in demand from so many people its hard to fit everyone in. ah its quite nice being popular :). Seriously though i think this is my favourite part of the social aspect of university i.e. the fact that now people actually like me on the basis of who i am and not what clique i'm in or what my interests are, its now never a case of "We're not speaking to you because you play Warhammer" or whatever it was back in my school days. Yes being in a social situation that is not deffined by cliques and stereotypes, is so refreshing and pleasent. Its nice to mix with quite a diverse group of people and call them friends. Yes this is a lot better.

whats not so good though is i seem to have developed a slight innsomnia of late, I keep waking up at about 4.30-5.00 am and just can't sleep. its happened three days in a row now and its annoying as its making me feel quite groggy and irritable. Ok so i usually wake up early (6.30 onwards) but at the moment i'm waking up too early. Though as to why i have no idea, a month or so ago, i would have said stress, worry angst e.t.c. at the moment i feel good about life though, not got anytihng to worry about as far as i can think of, so who knows. dosn't help that the sleep i do get dosn't feel like good sleep. Urgh hope it sorts itself out soon...

musings

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 09:41:22 GMT

ah so the zombie game went well, even though it did start 3 hours later then planned, and it seems i have been right to champion Savage Worlds, it is a damn good system to run, and ranks up there with heroQuest as my all time favourite rules system. Though with Savage Worlds i have found if you want gritty, gritty and leathal realism look elsewhere, but i don't not really, at least not at the moment, i like the fact the heroes can take a few more hits before falling over, it just makes the game more fun to play. Gritty, lethal realism is all well and good, but it can sometimes suck the fun out of things if the group isn't right for it, or not in the right mood. In fact were finishing it off today, see if my players can escape the zombie hell version of Alfreton (which works better then you'd think as a zombie filled hell hole, though looking at some of the people there its hard to tell whose alive and whose not)

what else to speak of, well my copy of Fading Suns came so I been reading that a bit, the background is good, better then I thought ,as its not a 40K rip off, yes its influenced by that world, but its very distinct and unique, so i'm pleased and happy, now to just read the rules...

Hmm starting to read my uni texts books a bit at the moment, its actually quite interesting really to pick out the stuff I want to and study it a bit, see how much i can pick up, nice to keep the brain ticking over in a way that isnt' connected with gaming, fantasy and so on..... a bit of variety always makes things fun don't you think :)

Though if we're speaking of fantasylets keep going, picked up the first book in the Nighr watch Trillogy the other day, I like this, the supernatural set up is well done but what i really like is the setting of Moscow itself ,its wonderfully dark and decaying and perfect set up for World of Darkness type stuff.

Yes and Erroth is now finally back on track, i'm starting to write it again, its fun to get back onto this world after a couple of months break and am working on some other stuff as well, story writing mainly, its nice to be creative and in the mood to write, actually find it helps if i'm in a more depressed/angsty mood to write, stops me sitting around in self pity.

It is odd at the moment, feel a lot happier and well adjusted at the moment, I don't seem to be continually beating myself up over my bad choices reguarding uni anymore, i've come to the conclusion yes i know i made a bad choice, could have done better, should have moved out and why i made these bad choices, i've accepted this now and i will just make the best of life with what i've got before me. That's all anyone can ever do I guess. I mean i its not like i'm the only person whose got scared made a choice based on that fear and screwed up i'm betting everyone has at some point in their life, its part of being human. We all make choices sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad ,but once they've been made we have to accept we made that choice and deal with the consequences of said choice.

enough rambling on my point, just felt like saying a few things is all.

short and sweet (for once and possibly never again)

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 19:16:32 GMT

Ok longer post some other time but.... Ghostbusters and Cthulhu together at last, wonderfully nerdy and full of splendid in jokes and the like, ah fantastic. Link below. Yes simply wonderful

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=950452

note sure who found this in the first place but it was ammusing.

wow for once a post that dosn't go on for ages and/or isn't dripping in angst, I suppose your now asking who is this and what has happened to the real Matt, well i'll leave you to dream up answers to that one!!!

RPGing is the thing for me....

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 18:00:35 GMT

Firstly i appologise for the sheer bulk of RPGing related stuff here, if you're not interested look away now.

right first a detail of some games i been playing in. firstly finally got Mythic Russia off the ground, which went well, both the players i had seemed to like my style of game, which is always a nice ego-boost. Not much actually went off in the first session, mainly just character creation and an introduction to the campaign setting, with the players just exploring the town and getting given a simple task by a Oxana, the local herblist, whose an increadbly crotchety and down right unpleasent old woman. I'm looking forward to seeing how the game pans out. Just a pity my other group never decided to turn up for Mythic Russia, that would have been very intereseting, to see how both groups handled the situation.

Which leads us onto the second point i have, said other group now have decided they want to do some roleplaying, and are now pestering me to run something. So I decided i'd run a zombie survival one-off set round Alfreton (which is where most of them live and all of us went to sixth form in that area). Then out of a bazzare idea it was decided to see how they themselves would survive the zombie plauge. Well, this means me statting out my friends, reducing them to a series of numbers, which is kind of fun actually and would give them each a character sheet (actually made nicely not just scribbled down), as a kind of keep-sake as well. So for this endevour i've dug out savage worlds and will actually run the zombie survival idea using that system, so yes my friends you've all been Savaged!

Ok Tribe 8 for the moment has finished, and now we've moved onto Mummy the Ressurection, which is another World of Darkness game where you played the ressurected form of a flawed mortal sort of sprit bonded with an ancient Egyptian entity, who seeks to make right the flaws of your character, giving them a second chance at life. However there is a catch and we have to fight the forces of Set. This was the game i was a little dubious about playing since WoD seems to annoy me, due to the nature of the designers which becomes evident (in my opinion) when you read the background. But that didnt' seem to matter yesterday, we got a good background without the horrible pretencious angst that plagues WoD. Elaine ran the game great, and was the perfect example of all a good GM needs is enthusiasm and it makes the game a lot more fun for everyone involved. Heck if its done with enthusiasm i'd play D&D.

right final point on gaming, me and Phil have started doing a little chaos campaign, using the old GW chaos books. This is a lot of fun and due to both of us being, well us its very off the wall and quite creative, in a good way. Ok were using a mix of two versions of warhammer, Mordheim and Necromunda but its all good fun and a nice enjoyable game between friends. This brings a slightly worrying point up, she now seems to be going out of the way to spend time with me, which i want to take as a simple gesture as friendship, however it just strikes me as odd, somebody pretty much cold shoulders me for a month or more, for christ only knows what reason, then suddenly were all close friends again. I want to take this as just a gesture of friendship but I just feel a little suspicious about it all...prehaps i'm just paranoid.

Ok thats my last few days in a nutshell, nothing more to repeat here, i don't want to fill this with meaningless angst.

-adios amigos

Savour this moment....for today life is good

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 22:29:50 GMT

Ok so that was a knackering day, 40K and copipus amounts of coffee in the afternoon and necromunda and more sugar and caffine this evening, yeah woo twitchy.

so stuff too talk about, saw the Simpsons movie the other day, i liked that film i liked it a lot, was everything i would have hoped for from a Simpsons movie, not what i was dreading i.e. it wasn' an episode spun out over an hour and a half and not a cash in, it was genuinley ammusing and uniquly Simpsonian. Can't think of any complaints or critisisms or anything like that, it was a bloody good film and i say go and watch it.

Ok have a new RPG obcession of the month now runePunk picked it up on deciding that i should run some Savage Worlds due to having a sudden realisation that while i've been harping on about the greatness of this system i have only played it about 4 times and that was over a year ago, so maybe i should actually give some weight to my claims and run something using the system. Hence RunePunk, probally be my contribution to the NODDsoc one offs in Freshers week. For some reason i feel an abundance of life and creativity at the moment so i'll take full advantage of it.

and speaking of gaming, Furnace looks fantastic, this year, looking at some of the games lined up this should be great, its only august now and i'm alreayd exicted about it. October can't come quick enough. Ah yes it should be fun indeed

yes life is good, things are good, and for some reason i just feel so damm happy at the moment, and its not due to caffine or sugar, all my problems and the like are in prespective and don't seem to be constantly gnawing away at me, and there seems to be a strange sense of generally happiness creativity and good will burning in me, i'm worried as this is going to mean i sink into a severly maudelin, moody, misreble and generally unpleant state soon, i seem to go through cycles. ah well worry about that later, when it happens, i'll just enjoy the good times while they roll.

i'll stop now, i just seem to be rambling

Yet another film down!

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 21:15:14 GMT

Ok right i've finally seen it, i've finally seen Ghostbusters, hurzah i may be...god only knows how many years too late but it was fun, i like that film a lot, i can see why a lot of people gave me rave reviews of it, ok so yes, i've seen it and enjoyed it and yes thats it.

Ok that's probally a little short for just one entry, so i think i'll mull a bit. Thinking of a new Tribe 8 character, and this time I'll do something serious and a lot more dramatic. I think i'll do something with a Terasheban Judge who left the Tribe when he was forced to condemm his own family to death, and went to join the Fallen, in search of absolution for what he sees as his sin by aiding the Fallen in anyway possible, as he sees this as the best way to cause hurt to the foul creature that forced him to exile in the first place, Terra sheba herself, after all aiding those which the Fatima hates is sure to bring pain to her and her followers. He wants his revenge but he's not likley to get it by fighting her face to face, after all fighting a manifestation of the Goddess would be stupid. So thats my serious idea created either a Fallen Terra'sheban Lightbringer or Herite not sure yet. However i will keep this character moderate and not insane.

Hmm nothing else to talk about really, nice fun saturday with a friend, thats it really. Nice easy summer probally the last one i'll ever have, so i should make it count I guess.

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:58:25 GMT

Ok so the good news is i finally remembered to put my poster up in Patriot Games, now hopefully i'll get to run at least one game this summer, I highly doubt my other one planned will actually occur, so this one on monday's seems like it could work.

Ok that's pretty much all i've achieved today, the PCR that worked on monday and i need to replicate didn't work today and tomorrow is my last day, maybe staying a few more days next week but... oh well at least I have the expeirance.

hmm that's it, there is ment to be some huge gathering to go and see the Simpsons movie, however that isn't going to occur at the most it will be a few of us drifting along. I think i;ll just go on my own. Waste some time that way. Hmm we shall see it seems, i don't know if it's any good should be fun at least.

Ok thats me out so poster up, first time i've run a game with mostly compleate strangers, should be interesting to say the least.

-over 'n'out

well thats the proverbial splash with cold water isn't it?

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 11:59:44 GMT

Ok then I really wish there was a hole i could crawl into right now and just hide away for awhile., a good long while but unfortunaty
a)There arn't any holes big enough
b)I need to still function in the world

it's just i'm now over someone which is good but of course now comes the horrible relisation how friggin pathetic i've been over the past few months, urgh, i'd laugh at me if i was someone else, oh dear god i feel really quite mortified with it all. Urgh i am seriously ashamed of myself of late, i pride myself on being mature i should have delt with things a lot, lot better, though of course this is a sphere of human activity my expeirance is limited in, but still someone of my supposed inteligence shoul have dealt with it a lot better. I really am a compleate fool. If i could find someform of memory erasing device i would, or better yet a time machine...

Anyhow onto more fun stuff my games for the remander of the summer are planned, two lots of Mythic Russia one at Patriot on a monday night with whoever turns up (poster will be there soon i was going to put it up weeks ago but kept forgetting) and the second one just amongst some old friends of mine, upstairs in the old Queens head, if we can get the upstairs room. Hurzah the gaming summer is here!! Ah games another reason why crawling into a hole is unacceptable.

-Righ thats me out then

resolutions

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 20:00:17 GMT

Ok yes I can finally breath again, metaphorically speaking, not had any trouble breathing in a physical sense. All my friend problems sorted, yes were friends again and good friends it seems, mainly due to the fact she was finally honest with me about stuff and i',m happy now as i feel i can trust my friend again, yes i am very good at noticing when people are hiding things from me, plus i am now over them now i see them as nothing more then a close friend who I love dearly but in a purley platonic way.

Its just nice to feel like i've had a huge wieght lifted off me for all these months, now i know and things are good, problems are solved, and in a favourable and mature way that didn't involve stupidity or childish behavior both of us can fall to. So yes a good day all round.

-Matt is content, though feeling about stupid about how he's acted over the last few months, hmm been a bit of an interesting window into me most likley. Prehaps hiding in embarresment may be a good idea.

the summer of games is nearly here

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 10:39:14 GMT

ok, so this is the last week of my project it seems, one more week then a couple of months of relaxation until term starts again. Hopefully a couple of months of games, plus some other stuff.

So yes i have enjoyed my project, i like scientific reasearch, wish the experiments had been just a little more sucessful but thats the way of things i don't think i've done to bad, considering some of the stories people have told me about it taking 6 months to a year to get stuff to work, well i've not had that long i've had 8 weeks. Pity it's been at Hallam but ah well, only one more year left, then out of there for good and probally out of sheffield onto fields unknown. A fresh start. Its nothing personal against the people i know and like here heck if things had been diffrent i would have stopped around here for a good while longer but they are the way they are and i need out, though of course i will miss the friends i've made here and the like, there are a lot of things and people i won't miss. Though one plus about next year most of the annoying course mates are gone and i'll hopefully never have to see them again.

Hmm not much to say, except i am looking forward to what will hopefully be a veritable feast of games for these last 2 months of the holydays.

robots in disguise, pity the annoying fan boys wern't

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 08:50:27 GMT

Right offically saw (as in watched at the cinema, not a download version) Transformers yesterday, and actually enjoyed as in my opinion it captured the sprit of the original series perfectally i.e. it was loud and overblown action with giant robots from space, just like the 80's cartoon, Prime was still the dully heroic leader compleate with long borning specahes, the Decepticons were still delightfully villanious in a chessy sort of way, it was all good fun, everytihng a summer action movie should be, good, no-brain fun, a special effects fest pleasent on the eye and easy on the mind, i.e. good escapism. I mean if you consider it as a peice of cinematic art it was aweful i.e. considering the scripting, the acting and the plotting, it was pretty dire, but i didn't go to see this film to be interlectually challenged, i went to have some fun with a good update of an old series. I enjoy films that are thought provoking and challenging, but i also like to watch something that's just fun if brainless.

Ok so was the afternoon fun, not really due to the two guys i went with being Transformers purists and one of them already deciding to hate it before he even watched it ,and spent the entire time complaining about it afterwards, i don't care about him hating the film, but i hate people forming an opinion before they've at least watched something. then because i dare to disagree with "the purist" me and my opinion gets treated with contempt, which in my opinion is just a little bit pathetic as there are better things to fall out with someone then what is essentially a peice of pop-cultural junk.

Ok enough rant, just a little peaved that what should have been a good fun trip with friends, was spoilt by one of them being an immature idiot.

ah well in conclusion, Transformers Good fun Blockbuster, don't expect great cinema, just expect good special effects fest action and you'll enjoy it, just don't go with "purists"

RPging type stuff

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 12:40:05 GMT

Well, well that was unexpected, the ending to the Lilith cycle, i really wasn't expecting her to be a Dhalian trick, i had Lillith pegged as a very powerful and clever Zibri, seeking to use the Fallen Tribe in some cruel game, wow i was suprised. Made a good ending though, and next time we roll around to play Tribe 8 it should be fun, though this time i'll take a more serious and normal character. As Morris while being a lot of fun was a little too weird to fit into the game for long. Hmm i wonder what game it will be next probally nothing for a couple of weeks, well maybe some boredgames/Munchkin but nothing else.

Hmm what else more RPGing tonight, should be fun, no idea what were doing but it should be fun nevertheless, well i hope it's on, so i', expecting any moment now, to get a message from Oliver giving me some reason or another as to why we're not Roleplaying.

Ok so Mythic Russia, it seems i have interest, and i have an idea for a campaign but there is one problem a good place to run it... i've been giving this some thought and if its on a weekday evening i'll use Patriot as it will be quiet then, even though its not ideal due to be stiflingly hot durning the summer. Though if the game is at weekend Patriot is out due to the kids there making it too noisy and crowded to game comfortably, expeirance has taught me not to try Roleplaying there at a weekend. alternativley I guess i could use someplace back round chesterfield/alfreton way, but i'm a bit stumped as to where. I can think of places that are theorteically good, but i dunno how kindly they'd take to a bunch of Roleplayers. Personally i can't see how its diffrent to a group of friends just hanging about and chatting but sometimes people take offense. I'll think on it, at least i have a scenario idea, which is always good.

anyhow thats me done with for now, now to check my first PCR with the new primers, here's fingers, toes and tenticles crossed that it works!!!

The Gaming summer is here

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 08:50:13 GMT

Right ok so the project is coming to an end, so i can now start having my own summer of games (seems to be getting passed about does tha phrase). Of both the computer and tabletop variety.

I deffinatly want to run something, with my old group of friends back home while its summer and were all still together, as it would be a lot of fun just to have a couple of months over the summer, playing a regular game. I'm not sure what yet, i'll see what genre people would like and go from there, as there are several RPGs i am willing to run, I have some ideas roughly sketched out including a "traditonal" type of high fantasy game (i.e. D&D type stuff) but using Savage Worlds as the rules set. But there are many other ideas i could toy with, just need to wait for email and text replies. not going to do WoD as from a practical point it requires too many D10s and i'm not that keen anymore.

Ah posibilites...

Then there is the chance i could run something with my thursday night group, we shal see what happens there, no idea what i'd do probally another of the things i plan to do with my friends back home.

I may eve ndo something with Erroth, though this is a big maybe, and i mean a big maybe, Erroth is still quite embryonic at the moment and its actual perpose other then being the personal creative endevours of myself and Phil, i don't know if it has a perpose for RPGs or anything just a fun thing to do in its ownright, ironicallly it was ment to be for gaming in but... anyhow we shall see what happens.

ok thats me out, not much to do today just wait for Dr Smith to show up, then i may have stuff to do.

-must think of games.

insert witty title here

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 15:40:18 GMT

So a strange thing happened today but it turned out it was a really good strange thing. I ran into my old form teacher from 6'th form today, which was really quite fortunate really as i've been needing to track her down for a while, for reasons to do with Erroth, as she is also a fantasy fan/roleplayer so i think i'd like to get her opinion on my insane creation. Also it turned out that running into her in the uni resteraunt and chatting about fantasy and roleplaying and the like was pretty much the first time i had a conversation with anyone about anything fun or interesting there, which is really quite pathetic i guess but there you go. Was great to run into my old biology teacher as well and say hi, as he was a great teacher, and really did make everything, even the dullest parts of the subject interesting and told them about this project of mine. So yes a little strange and unexpected but fun.

Ok so what else to talk about, the problems i've had recently with me and my friend are patched at least, but due to my utter idicoy and becoming a self absorbed twat that took all their friendship for granted, i've managed to destroy a lot of trust between me and her, which is a pity as we were such good friends. I'm going to have to spend a lot of time trying to rebuild that (if i ever can). I think its a blessing that at the moment we only seem to communicate through text/email (not enough time on either side to see each other face to face) as i highly doubt i could face them at the moment face to face without going all to peices. I just really wish i could blame someone or something else for this sorry state of affairs, but i can't and it keeps coming back to hit me in the face that it's all 100% my fault. This is an interesting point about humans in general we seem to deal better with hate, anger, crueltey and general unpleasentness expressing them far more easily then we do stuff like love and compansion and the like, wonder if its a point about the human race.... This has been a real wake up call, i think i'll just have to deal with my problems and try and help a friend or at least be a bit more attentive. Just feel really ashamed at my own behavior, and will try to make things better. Might become a better person.

Right thats all that out the way, i think i';ll offer up my opinion on the Hawkmoon Roleplaying game. I like it, it seems well put together and now i've seen the Mongoose Runequest rules presented in a proper manner i quite like them, they seem simple enough to understand and i like the fact that base skill scores rely on the ability scores of a character rather then being fixed numbers. That's what always bugged me abotu cthulhu and the Strombringer RPG but its been fixed so i'm happy. I appologise to any of the pursits out there who are offended by this...

Erm thats it really, can't think of anything else to say for the moment. May drift to medrac tonight or may not, i'll see if Oliver's going and go if he is.

oh well done, you've done it now

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 20:08:19 GMT

Ok well done on my part, one big fat sarcastic well done on my part. I've finally been shocked to my senses about stuff and now i got to sort things out.

I've finally just realised how much i been taking a friend of mine for granted. And its not like they just been a casual friend, they've shown me soo much kindness, support and always been there for me, and has had the patiance of a saint to put up with me. And have i reciprocated, not really i just realised i've taken the best friend i ever had for granted and just been increadbly dissmissive of them. And its taken me such a long time to realise it, i've been so self absorbed it's been unbeleivable, and i've only snapped out of it now it's too late. No wonder the whole friendship became somewhat strained. Urgh i just feel increadly guilty now and have realised i've been an utter selfish bastard and probally deserve this.

anyhow i think i'm going to have to start trying to put stuff right now, well at least say i'm sorry.

Oh gods why do i always mess up all the good things i have by doing exactly the wrong thing at the one time.

lets clear a few things up shall we

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 21:00:55 GMT

Right, lets clear this up once and for all, mainly for the benefit of people who don't read this, but i'll post it here in nay case.

I am not, i repat am not a bitter, misreble cynic who sours easily and hates anything new. Lets get this clear i like as much new stuff as i do old and supposedly classic stuff and i am not intentionally critical all the time, i just find it difficult to accept things as compleatly flawless, as there is no such thing as perfection, everything has its flaws and bad points. I just cannot see the point in being rabidly fanatical about something, i mean even stuff i champion i can see bad points in it.

and as for people accusing me of being conservative, well, A) Thats a little hypocritical as the persom who accuses me of that is the most set in their ways person i know, who hates it when anyone suggests anything outside his comfort zone and B) I like new things, i enjoy a lot of new TV series and books, the reason i am dismissive of some of it is that a lot of new stuff is either an immitation of something else and ends up doing it a lot worse which is why i am dismissive of them, or there just not that good. But of course because i don't love the new Dr Who i am apparantly a bitter and sour cynic who is too conservative for his own good. Well my appologies I just cannot like the series because in my opinion it is not Dr Who, it is essentially an American sci-fi with Dr Who characters and not an amazing one at that, with the exception of the Blink episode which was wonderful.

I mean i am planning to go and see the Transformers movie, and i will go with an open mind and try and enjoy it, i'm not going just to pick fault, it could be fun on the big screen.

So yes i appologise if i am sometimes a little bitter and cynical but, i do enjoy stuff that is new if it's any good and and just because i see the faults in something does not mean i dislike it... so please bear that in mind before you start accusing me of being cynical and conservative esspeically when you are the most conservative and stuck in your ways person i know my dear...

Ok rant over and not directed at any of my readers.

greetingsfromtheabyss@hotmail.com — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 21:58:05 GMT

Oh well thats another day over with, i think that slowly my project may be going somewhere, and i think the direction its taking is a little diffrent from origionally anticipated but its all fun and i get a little bit of a sense of achievement from that. Yet i'm just feeling soo misreble and run down at the moment, i'm not going to go on about how "depressed" i am as i AM NOT suffering from an actual mental illness, but just feel a bit low about life and kind of all empty, which is my own fault as i've just been suppressing anfd not getting all mopey about stuff but rather just forced myself to become cold and uncaring... which helps deal with things until i realise that i responded in the coldest and most spiteful way to a friends plight with the basic attiude of "oh dear thats very sad, now give me a reason i should give a danm, it serves you right", which makes me feel god damn aweful its not my place to pass judgement. yes my "coping mechanism" has essentially failed, making myself all cold, hard and uncaring is not good in the lon run, can get you through acute crisis points but the long run its unhealthy.